In 1931, someone posted a $5,000 prize for proving that the Earth is spherical. Within the posted terms, the challenge turned out to be no easy cake. A solid proof outside of the challenge, though, lies with Foucualt’s pendulum and gyroscope demonstrations.
A year after I founded a startup with 4 guys in a dorm room, things were not looking good. For about half a year, the direction we were headed was unclear, and the the future seemed bleak. One day, It suddenly hit me that I was responsible for the livelihood of dozens of families—not just persons, but families. The thought continued to stress me out. I tried to be brave in front of my coworkers, but still broke down occasionally.
At first I told myself to work hard and fix the problems. But nothing got better. What do you do when you feel the whole world is against you? You emulate 007. Think about it. James Bond was designed to be perfect. When you see a Bond movie, everything is always against him, yet he always triumphs. So my advice to others had been to imagine yourself as James Bond. Do as Bond would do. In short, I applied that advice to myself, but surely enough, that did not work either.
One day my father came to visit me, and I broke down again. He was trying to be a good father, trying his best to be supportive. But what could he say to someone that had tried everything and failed? What was the one thing anyone can say to someone that felt the whole world was against him?
“Have faith.”
NOTICE FOR USELESS INVENTING
The difficulty of street parking in crowded cities can be ammeliorated by automobiles whose wheels can spin 180 degrees. This will allow cars to move sideways like a crab does. Parallel parking will be replaced by something that is easier to learn and more robust.
So, GM, listen up. This is your chance to avoid bankruptcy. You know how delicious crabs are, don’t you? This is your chance to make customers hungry for your cars.
NOTICE FOR USELESS INVENTING
Have you ever wished you could curse like those Dongbei dudes on YouTube? Armed with powerful vocabulary and a punishing command of metaphors, puns, and parallelism, those dudes need only minutes, or even seconds, of speech to devastate their foes while entertaining hedonistic bystanders. Have you ever wanted to curse like a pro but lacked the oratory skills? Have you felt simply too polite to do it?
If your answer to any of the questions is yes, you will welcome the invention of the Dongbei Curse Generator. This customized computer script asks you for the name of your foe, and dynamically generates an audio file containing the desired Dongbei-style smack down. That’s right—you do not even need to lift your lips. You may further customize your experience by selecting from a set of preset templates extrapolated from the most popular Dongbei videos from YouTube.
Quizno’s has the most delicious subs. It turns out the secret recipes are calories of up to 1900 fused with fat of up to 100g per sub. I wonder how much grease is in the truck food on Oxford St.
Every simple thing can be made complex. Take t-shirts for example. A cursory look at CustomInk.com reveals a lot of options.
The most basic distinction is between unisex jerseys and girly jerseys. According to Lara:
the standards are like your regular guy tshirt right
and even the small sizes are kinda big for girls
plus girls like to wear shirts that are a little tighter fitting
Fair enough. Now what about sleeve lengths? Besides the short sleeve and the long sleeve, there are raglans with 3/4 sleeves, also called baseball sleeves.
The most subtle differences are the materials. Tees can be 100% cotton. Cotton can have weights commonly ranging from 4.3 oz (lightweight common for American Apparel) to 6.1 oz (heavyweight, beefy). Furthermore, cotton can be preshrunken, combed, and ringspun. That particular combination is just tee talk for the best kind.
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Blank tees are surprisingly inexpensive. Entry-level brands can be had for two to three dollars. At the higher end, getting a custom-printed American Apparel tee is no more expensive than buying a comparable stock tee retail.
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Thin, asian girls can only wear size small, even if they are really a little taller. A corrolory is that every Asian girl at the law school wears the same size.
In the 1990’s, auditing was about making clients happy and winning consulting contracts. In response, the FASB, the standard setter in the United States, sent auditing satisfaction surveys to CFOs at corporations. The theory was that auditors should not make people happy. Happy CFOs raised red flags.
Of course no such surveys are needed now. After the demise of Arthur Anderson and Sarbanes Oxley, auditors went to the other extreme so as to cover their butts to the greatest extent possible. There are probably no happy CFOs anymore.
He was a bankruptcy lawyer for 15 years. Then, a client invited him to join a hedge fund. What is unique about his experience is that his substantive legal trainings have remained valuable. This is so because he places bets on the amount of money creditors can collect from a bankrupt company.
I am more and more convinced that bankruptcy is the practice area that requires the greatest amount of problem solving.
Overhearing Ally talking on her phone upset me. She came back while I was watching an anime. I always knew she was going to get a good job. Not being able to congratulate her or celebrate when it happens makes me sick. Me, a stranger.
I can hear the closing song: “Rain tumbles down. The bus is late. Suddenly a furry, wet giant is by your side. Don’t be afraid. Just open wide your umbrella for him. Watch him play in the rain. Now begins a new adventure for you.”
When the relevant adventure began, I often sat in Langdell for half an hour and fail to remember any word I read. If I held open a book now, the same thing would happen—but for different, bad reasons.
I want a hug.
